Monday, September 29, 2014

the dead who groaned within

Some sepulcher, remote, alone,
Against whose portal she hath thrown,
In childhood, many an idle stone - 
Some tomb from out whose sounding door
She ne'er shall force an echo more,
Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
It was the dead who groaned within.

-Edgar Allan Poe, The Sleeper
*This blog and these photos do not intend to promote self harm, but aim merely to convey an artistic expression.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

wearing: a floral kimono and velvet leggings

Wanna hear a secret? This kimono is really a bathrobe. I thrifted it (from the intimates section), and then when I got home I cut off the belt loops, ties, tags, and voila! I also like to wear it inside out so the silky side isn't showing. The pretty print remains visible, and I think it makes the garment look less like a bathrobe and more like a kimono/shawl. I get so. many. compliments. Seriously, every time I wear this out people are simply clamoring to tell me how much they love my outfit. It's so satisfying knowing that it only cost me a few dollars!
velvet leggings- thrifted // kimono - thrifted // vintage fringe scarf - thrifted // 
hat - H&M // Jeffrey Campbell Litas - eBay // jewelry - thrifted

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

inner demons


- William Shakespeare


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

a peek into my trailer // September 10, 2014

Well, it's been a pretty wet week here at the gypsy camp. I woke up one night last week to a flash flood warning on my phone, but I really didn't think anything of it. The next morning when I woke up I found my trailer completely surrounded by flowing water. The whole county had been drenched, and some parts flooded, but from the looks of it, my campsite got the worst of it. Other parts of the county have since dried, yet I'm still left wading through ankle deep water every time I set foot out my door. And, of course, it's currently raining. Ah well, the joys of campground life, eh? I will say that thank goodness my trailer has stayed nice and dry inside!

Since it's a bit wet to be playing around outdoors for pictures, I thought I'd share some more photos of my trailer. I LOVE how it's turning out in here. It may be small, but it's cheery and cozy as anything. (As per usual, you can see many, many more trailer decor photos on my Instagram!)

Aaaand, one last thing. I have been getting some questions about many things trailer related and I want to answer them all in one post (I'm thinking of dusting off my video camera and maybe making a vlog!). So, if there is anything you'd like to know about any aspect of trailer life, let me know in the comments below, and I'll be happy to answer them in my upcoming post! XO

Thursday, September 4, 2014

meet Lenore

This tiny gray kitty is the newest member of the gypsy camp. I adopted her from the shelter a few weeks ago, and I'm so glad I did! I named her 'Lenore' after a work by one of my favorite writers, and I think it suits her splendidly.  She's just the sweetest little thing. I know what you're probably thinking - even having one cat in a trailer seems crazy, but two?! Well, yeah, it's a little crazy. But Luna has taken so well to living in my trailer that I don't think it's that strange anymore. I wanted to get a new cat mostly as a companion for Luna, but I think we all benefit from it, especially Lenore, who gets a good home with people who love her.

I knew going into it that the kitties wouldn't get along at first, especially since they're both female. I kept them in separate rooms for the first few days, as was advised by the folks at the shelter. When they were able to wander freely there was a lot of hissing and demonic growling, but this week it finally seems like it's all water under the bridge. They are starting to become friends! It just melts my heart when I see them touching noses or grooming each other. If you want to see more of the kitties, there's always plenty of photos on my Instagram

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

embracing individuality

I am beautiful. All of me. My smile is beautiful. The dimple in my chin is beautiful. My legs are beautiful. My wild curls are beautiful. My eyes are beautiful. All of me is beautiful. Being able to write or say those things and actually mean them isn't something I was always able to do. It's taken years to be able to get to a place where I am comfortable with myself and in my own skin, but I'm finally here and it feels wonderful.

It wasn't until I was in sixth grade that I really started to be aware of my body and how it compared to others. I remember one of my "friends" scoffing at me when I wore a pair of shorts to school one day. I was so confused as to why anyone would care. It was hot out and the shorts were comfortable. I wasn't wearing them to look a certain way. Looking back now I realize it was because that girl was already insecure about her body. At the age of twelve she was already telling herself that she wouldn't look good in shorts, and she was somehow jealous that I was confident enough to do so. In elementary school I had someone tell me that my hair felt like "horse hair." I was made fun of all the time in middle school for having small breasts. In high school someone asked me if I was ever going to have surgery to remove the birthmark on my ankle.
I didn't come from a home where looks were judged at all. My parents always told me I was beautiful (and smart) no matter what I wore, how I did my hair, ect. It was strange to me to have people make fun of my for things I had no control over. According to my mom, when my dad first saw me after I was born, the first thing he said was that I had my mom's chin dimple. I love that story. But in high school, people made fun of my "butt chin." My birthmark went from "special" and "unique" to something I should have corrected. My slim athletic body wasn't womanly enough. My light skin went from "fair" to "pale" and "sickly."

The first magazine I ever had a subscription to was Cat Fancy. It came in the mail to me for years. Then I bought my first issue of YM. Then an issue of Seventeen. Slowly the cat magazines were phased out and were replace by the the sweet smelling brightly colored magazines for women. By the end of high school I had a subscription to Teen Vogue, Glamour, Elle, Cosmo Girl, and Seventeen. So THESE were the girls that everyone expected me to look like? Suddenly I felt quite inadequate. No matter how many products I slathered on my hair it never looked like the girls on those covers. When I went bra shopping I bought bras that were way too big for me to give the impression I had something bigger than A's in my shirt. I was always very athletic, and I was a member of the volleyball, basketball, and track teams. But suddenly my strong muscular thighs were seen as "fat."

I used to want to save all my copies of those magazines so I could go back and peruse them, or so that my future daughters could go look back. But those stacks were taken to the thrift store long ago. I want my daughters looking up to REAL women, not the ones airbrushed and photoshopped in magazines.

I'm thankful I've found blogs like The Clothes Horse, The Dainty Squid, and Delightfully Tacky. Blogs like these promote the idea that all women are beautiful. You don't have to look like the people in the magazines to be beautiful. You don't have to buy clothes from the mall to look cool. You don't have to slather yourself with the products advertised on their pages to be clean and acne free. It's ok to be different. It's ok to look different and to like different things. Reading blogs like these have helped show me that confidence in who you are is the best thing you can have. Being a unique individual makes you interesting. 

I still have small boobs. My thighs aren't as muscular as they once were, but they're definitely not skinny. My hair is unruly as ever. Oh, and my birthmark's still here, too. (No, I never did have plans to remove it, and I never will.) And I'm ok with these things. More than ok. I LOVE the things that make me ME. This is ME and no one else will ever be exactly the same. I dress up and take pictures of myself. I live in a trailer. I love exploring cemeteries. I collect bones. I like to read. I make my own beauty products. I love who I am. I'm sad that I didn't always feel this way. I wish I could go back and tell that fourteen year old girl that she was beautiful. That her hair was naturally curly and she didn't have to try to smooth it out every day. That she should be proud of her slim and toned body. That the rest of life wouldn't be like high school. People wouldn't always be so cruel. I hope that I can be the same voice of reason for other girls and women. You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Smart. Embrace what makes you special.
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