Saturday, October 31, 2015

portraits of a witch // 2015

Every year or so around this time I post another bunch of photos in the "portraits of a witch" series. I usually don't include text with the photos, because I think they speak for themselves, but this year I decided to have a talk. This year's self portraits are especially important to me for several reasons. The past year has been hard on me. Hard. I went through a hellish breakup that dragged on for months. I worked too many hours at jobs that, instead of nurturing my spirit and creativity, seemed to squash them. I moved seven times in the span of a year and a half, and never really felt at home. I lost my grip on my good habits, and saw my mental and physical health quickly deteriorate.

It's taken time, and rather than hate the person I became in a period of stress and self doubt, I've learned to accept and love her. I'm better now. Arguably the happiest I've ever been. While my body and my mind slowly start to heal, I'm learning, every day, to love where I am on my journey. I'm trying to be present. One of the rules I try to live by is if it harm none, do as you will, and I'm slowly starting to remember that that includes me.  Mind and body.

For a while I was ashamed of my body. The state of it. It became so different than what I was used to, and it was scary. I got to a point when I wouldn't even go bare legged anywhere because I was so embarrassed. I couldn't wear anything but leggings and baggy harem pants because I didn't fit into anything else. But now I'm making the choice to love my body, in whatever state it is. I know I'm getting better, and that's what's important. So I decided to include some photos skyclad (however keeping the pictures actually posted somewhat modest).

So here is me...all of me (mostly). I'm happy to be here. Blessed Samhain, fellow witches. 


Panty Buns said...

Wow, you really have been through a difficult time over the course of the last year and a half - going through a hellish breakup is hard and not feeling at home is emotionally hard as well. I haven't moved as much as you have and I still have things in boxes from moves eons ago. Kudos on loving your body now (as you should - you look gorgeous!!! in addition to having a beautiful body you have gorgeous hair, eyes and lips. I love the colour of your lipstick. I also love your facial expressions - looking over your shoulder in the first and seventh photos, big smile in the fourth, and the skyward look with closed eyes in the first, sixth, seventh, and ninth. The last photo is a lovely portrait as well, and I love the skyclad ones.
Best wishes for continually getting better - a blessed Samhain and happy Halloween to you too. :)

Natasha Mandel said...

You are stunning in your photos as well as your vulnerability. I think most of us can relate to the feeling and struggle of self acceptance and self doubt. We all have those periods and there will always be something we wish were different; accepting where we are on our journey now is such a beautiful gift to give ourselves. Thank you for sharing this moment. Much love, acceptance and abundance in the seasons ahead!

francesca said...

woah you are stunnign! the photos are amazing as well..the colors!! love this. keep it up girl

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Danielle Morgan said...

Thank you for sharing this intimate part of yourself. I know how hard that can be. Take care. <3

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